After subsiding for two months (optometrist appointment #1: February 21, 2008), it looks like what was previously diagnosed as a sty and now confirmed as a chalazion has returned. I was pretty worried the first time but now I'm just annoyed, so I'll likely opt to have them slice it open later this week to drain the fluid rather than wait a month or two and worry about possible recurrences.
Thus, with a hideous eye deformity and on the verge of yet another aging milestone, I asked if she'd be free for dinner next week. I've realized in the past weeks that she stands out to me because her self-confidence and the air she carries herself with, one where I feel I simply can't challenge her views even when I'm a natural antagonist, was the same as the confidence that Ann always carried about herself; it makes me meek and humble in her presence.
When I asked though, she had a look that was unfamiliar to me: a mixture of fear? Uncertainty? Surprise? I don't know, because I hardly know her, and it frightened me for it pierced, if only for a second, her aura of self-assuredness. She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no. I'll certainly beat myself up over this for days and there's certainly no weight lifted off my back since I have no idea what that look means.
I hope I get to find out. And I'm glad I asked.
Thus, with a hideous eye deformity and on the verge of yet another aging milestone, I asked if she'd be free for dinner next week. I've realized in the past weeks that she stands out to me because her self-confidence and the air she carries herself with, one where I feel I simply can't challenge her views even when I'm a natural antagonist, was the same as the confidence that Ann always carried about herself; it makes me meek and humble in her presence.
When I asked though, she had a look that was unfamiliar to me: a mixture of fear? Uncertainty? Surprise? I don't know, because I hardly know her, and it frightened me for it pierced, if only for a second, her aura of self-assuredness. She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no. I'll certainly beat myself up over this for days and there's certainly no weight lifted off my back since I have no idea what that look means.
I hope I get to find out. And I'm glad I asked.
Leave a comment