March 2008 Archives

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What reasons do you need to die?

To my complete surprise, we participated in Earth Hour last night after I arrived home at 20:15 and found that my dad had turned off all the lights in the house.  On discovering that Tessa hadn't gone on an evening stroll after dinner, we then went out and bumped into BT, and proceeded to walk for an hour, counting all the houses who had their lights turned off (half, at best).  At that point, Tessa yanked on my sleeve to pull me home as she was tired from her spa day.

She isn't tired, however, when there is salmon involved! Aw jeah, where ma salmon at?!

..., Buddha Dogs and a box full of tarts.  Went on a quick food trip with Hube down to Union (Jamie Kennedy Wine Bar) then around to Roncesvalles (Queen of Tarts, Buddha Dog) today. 

The thing with being numb or emotionally withdrawn is that even the feeling of nothingness is a unique, definable experience.  It's a state of apathy and nonchalance where every stimulus is deflected and you coast by on auto-pilot until the fog passes.  I know that feeling intimately, and this is different.

I noticed this last week when walking to Wanda's (paraphrasing Boro, tortured artists find solace in their work, and some of us find comfort in our munchies) and broke into an enthusiastic run halfway there because I was overcome by the anticipation of pies and butter tarts.  This is more like an emotional vacancy where any available feeling expands to fill the void, coming across so unreasonably intensely that even if I recognize its ridiculousness, I feel powerless to do anything but let them wash over me.  Every day at work is a tide of joy, despair, hopelessness, excitement, boredom and yearning. 

I like to think that I've always been fairly self-aware and when I return home exhausted at the end of the day, I know it's not a physical exhaustion that puts me directly to sleep.  The one thing that normalizes these emotions is seeing my dog wait for me by the window as I pull into the driveway and greet me as I walk through the door.  To have her clumsily step over me and curl against my leg then hearing her snoring contentedly, or watch as she closes her eyes, stops and catches a first whiff of a scent out in the ravine before she frantically attempts to chase it down are the moments that keep me...

...I suddenly don't know how to finish that sentence.

I had no idea there was a new R.E.M. record.  I'm pretty excited.  I can't say I was a huge fan of their last few albums but there were a couple of songs on them that I did play over and over again - I hope this one is a little more consistent.

(edit: it is, and it's consistently loud and fast and ultimately over in 35 minutes.  It's not bad, but I've always preferred the beauty of their ballads and the softer songs they've been experimenting with more recently.)

A colleague approaches.
- Is that your girlfriend outside?
- She isn't my...., no....I think she'd be upset if she overheard that.
- Ah...is she your sister?
- No! She works downstairs, she just poked her head in to say hello.
- I see, I see. She's very nice.

There's a gentleman at work who suffers from primary progressive multiple sclerosis.  I first met him several years ago when I started at S&WCHSC.  He was still getting around perfectly well, performing deliveries on multiple floors.  Now his mobility is limited enough that he relies on his delivery cart as a walker and they've limited his deliveries to only the main floor.  He tires quickly throughout the day and there are three or four areas where he can be reliably found to rest his feet for a little while.

Found out fairly randomly today while checking on the guys in the back that I can now whip though trig identity questions.

Ironic, no?

Although it didn't really poke fun at its (sports/romantic-comedy) genre like Pegg's previous movies had, I still enjoyed the movie simply for Simon's overacting and goofy faces.  The plot was obvious after the opening ten minutes of the film but the eccentric cast of characters made it a joy to watch, not to mention both girls in the movie are gorgeous (who in the world is India de Beaufort anyway?).

"For the last 11 miles, he's been running on a severely sprained ankle! Dennis, how do you feel?!"
"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL??!"
"Ladies and gentlemen! What an inspiration!"

...and Pineapple. I haven't had the nerve to open and tap into its nuclear greenness yet (especially after the disastrous exploding Root Beer yesterday) but I'll make a note when I do.

Note: tastes like Sprite, less fizzy.  And looks even greener in a white styrofoam cup.

A conversation with an Italian neighbourhood stranger, moments after nearly being hit by a car going 80 clicks round the bend:

- Why is everyone in such a hurry now?  I don't think they even saw your dog.
- Yeah, they were going pretty fast.  There's a "Limit 40km/h" sign right there too!
- I don't know what this neighbourhood's coming to. Have you been here long? I've lived here 25 years.
- Wow....well, nearly 20 years myself.  Things have changed around here though - take that school for instance.
- How do you mean?
- Well, it's a Russian Montessori now.
- A what?
- A Russian Monte....private school, what have you.
- Goddamn Russian mafia moved in?
- Haha...well, nobody likes them. Their kids throw cigarette butts and garbage everywhere, they tell us to stay off their playground, we really don't get along.
- I see those goddamn smokers all the time, I think they're even smoking...what do you call it. Grass.  Dope. 
- Really?
- Certainly.  Russian mafias, they're the worst of all.  So much worse than Italian mafia or Chinese mafia.
- Actually, we prefer to call ours "Triads."

Yes, the temperatures are still around the freezing point but you wouldn't know it from the dogs playing in the surf.

Ah, while we're here, forgot I rewatched this on Wednesday also after someone at work claimed their friend "lives their life by it". While I still maintain that it's a story of hope and the realization that love isn't effortless but ultimately worthwhile even if we are prone to making the same mistakes over and over, the characters are so horribly tragic that it's hardly a movie to take life cues from.  It also crossed my mind whether this girl who claims, "I apply my personality in a paste," and her relationship with a quiet but "nice" boy was similar to anyone we knew, but the Moores haven't seen this movie.

Clementine : Joel, I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.
Joel : I remember that speech really well.
Clementine : I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel : You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine : Probably.
Joel : I still thought you were going to save me. Even after that.

Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed to. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...

Joel : Wait.
Clementine : Why?
Joel : I don't know. Just wait... for a while.
Joel : I don't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine : But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.
Joel : Okay.
Clementine : Okay.
Joel : Okay.

Just noting that I read it this weekend after my cousin suggested it way back.  It was a quick read and I enjoyed it though sometimes it's tough to stick around and root for a weak character with little virtue (other than his constant self-acknowledgment of this flaw) until he inevitably finds redemption in the final few chapters.

"She said, 'I'm so afraid.' And I said, 'Why?,' and she said, 'Because I'm so profoundly happy, Dr. Rasul.  Happiness like this is frightening.'  I asked her why and she said, 'They only let you be this happy if they're preparing to take something from you.'" (p.262)

"Zendagi migzara, Afgahns like to say: Life goes on, unmindful of beginning, end, kamyab, nah-kam, crisis or catharsis, moving forward like a slow, dusty caravan of kochis." (p.376)

Taken tonight, as Tessa passively urges me to go to sleep.

I had a conversation with the coworker about how after listening to the recent Boyz II Men album of Motown hits, he realized he much prefers older music and how true songsmiths don't exist any longer (although he was careful to state his love for contemporary artists like Amy Winehouse and John Legend) since radio pop nowadays can't evoke the same kinds of feelings that songs did back when he was a child, the kinds of songs that can reveal new emotions to you that you had never experienced, and so forth.  I countered that this isn't surprising if one were to only listen to watered-down Top 40 hits, but that the simplicity of music publishing means that not only do we have access to a lot more music now than ever before (even if this also results in a larger amount of garbage).  We have specific genres and cross-over mashups that cater to every single niche one can imagine, even including artists like Stephin Merritt who are probably better known as lyricists than a vocal or live performer.  Coincidentally, I told him, he had even brought this up in the week of SXSW, one of the single largest music festivals in the world, and just happens to showcase international music talent that all have their own large followings but we've most likely never heard of, even in passing, unless it was from a friend's personal recommendation or from some indie rag.  The point being, radio won't find you the music you enjoy, particularly if you take music as seriously as he does - it'll only feed you what they believe the masses want to hear.

So on that note, I signed into last.fm today on a whim just to see how their social music networking and recommendation system performs.  I asked Hube to sign up too, if only to see how his pattern of j-pop crossed with 70's Americana might influence the system.  So far, I'm confused why it immediately grabbed my iTunes playlist from work, where the bulk of the songs are from my Alex Ross de-DRM'ing project over Christmas, but has neglected my playlist from home.  Still, I guess "overall results" will eventually normalize in time with the random mess of songs that are constantly playing at home.  Tonight, I'm just skimming through and listening to everything I haven't bothered with in months/years and catching up on new releases I've missed from bands I've enjoyed.  As Penny put it, "if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends..."

(find me here)

For $9.95, picked up a (now-defunct, yes yes yes) HD-DVD copy of Lost in Translation from Amazon.  It's become one of my favourite movies even if I find it personally devastating for several reasons.

None of which I want to talk about.

There are things, the most important in the world at this very moment, that I will never tell you. Things that you simply are not meant to hear for a multitude of reasons and, 'lest I risk the chance of them slipping out on Awkward Moments Day, I'll set them free here instead so that they might find a place more suited than here.  

After following the doctor's orders (no food on Saturday, migration to her new high-fiber diet, going cold-turkey on the turkey, 400mg of Tylocine every 12 hours), Tessa was understandably tired without any food in her but was still fairly active on her walk.  Vomited yellow bile on Sunday afternoon at the dog park while playing and missed her afternoon poop again, prompting us to think she'll need yet another 2a.m. (as she's had every day since Tuesday night) but she slept quietly through the night at the foot of the bed.  Monday morning walk was regular with good consistency, so I hope the worst of it is over.

She's been exceptionally well-behaved, quiet and undemanding, while her food was cut back.  I wonder if she thinks she's been bad and is being punished.

I remember the first thought I had about this movie was "I hope it isn't loosely tied together by random Oasis songs" followed closely by "I hope the soundtrack isn't horrible."  Romantic comedy named for an album, thus giving away its attempt at a musical core right on the cover?  I was just hoping it'd be roughly as good as About a Boy and maybe I won't feel like I wasted the time to (download) it.  Then the movie began with Reynolds walking down the street to Everyday People and, much as I enjoy the song, I began to worry since the triteness was already over the top and we weren't even through the opening credits.  As it turns out, though, the movie is clever and the soundtrack is actually fairly fantastic even if some of these songs are jarring when listened to adjacently.

All in all, the movie was clever.  Not particularly recommendable but it's fairly sincere where a chick flick is concerned.  As the daughter in the film puts it, it's a "love story mystery" with three stereotypical interests: the homely girl-next-door/childhood crush, the wise and world-weary city-girl and the wild, flighty, spontaneous girl with the heart of gold.  You can also expect all the usual love-story clichés where repeated poor timing where soul-baring revelations are concerned just drives the story around in circles from girl to girl, killing time when you've already figured out how the movie will end by the halfway mark.  Seriously, doesn't the boy always end up with the girl that convinces him to "oh, why not just practice your proposal with me?"  (edit: my colleague did point out that this did not come to pass in My Best Friend's Wedding.)

Still, the cast was pretty enough that it was easy watch, with Elizabeth Banks, Rachel Weisz and Isla Fisher as the objects of Ryan Reynolds' desire.  Other than the cringe-worthy overly-talkative moments where it drifts dangerously close to a bad Kevin Smith wannabe-romantic scene and the characters deem it worthwhile to explain everything obvious around them, it wasn't bad.  Ultimately, between Judd Apatow's comedies and Ryan Reynolds as a better-looking and better-acting Ben Affleck, I feel pretty awful for Kevin Smith who can't love watching all these movies that he wishes he had made (or were talented enough to make).  We'll see where hiring all the same talent gets him.

Well, that picture's not as nice (or representative of the restaurant) as this one, so we'll show a picture of The Lincoln instead.  Went to Cluck, Grunt & Low tonight, click on the picture for a link to the album.


The Bayview location is small but still much busier than I could have anticipated, though that's certainly due to a bump in popularity due to the recent publications (listed below).  It's a good thing I eat dinner obscenely early and we got there before six, as we waited only minutes for a table while those immediately after us suffered a seating at the tiny bar, and those after them endured a 15-20 minute wait.  Slow Food, Quickly, to be certain, but the sizable portions mean they're not necessarily eaten quickly. 

Eat, Drink and be Daring #80 - Croque Grunt
Toronto Star Review
Toronto Life Review

To paraphrase:

----

"So is it safe to change diets and take this medication along with Sentinel?"

"Yes, certainly, why do you ask?"

"Tessa's monthly Sentinel schedule is every month on the 17th, which is coming right up."

"I see...which vet did you visit previously again?"

"Willowdale Animal Hospital."

"And I assume you've kept her on the Sentinel schedule monthly...may I ask why?"

"That's how they had prescribed it to us and never told us otherwise.  Is that bad?"

"No, no, of course not, but let me tell you something just between me, you and the gatepost.  The rotating set of vets at the Willowdale Animal Hospital are paid by commission, simply by how much money they pull in for the hospital.  While I can't specify on the professionalism of the doctors there, one might certainly question if such a system has the best interest of your dog at heart.  Now, Sentinel is prescribed monthly and treats pests that may have begun growing in the past month or so.  Now, taking it as a preventative measure against heartworms, fleas and so forth is certainly a  good idea, and you certainly wouldn't want a Samoyed to risk fleas at all, it should be pointed out that heartworms and fleas are nearly non-existent in Canada during the winter season.  Do you see what I'm getting at?"

"I guess so...."

"Here, we use Revolution because it treats fleas at all points in the flea cycle (while Sentinel only treats during the initial phases) but we prescribe it only from June until the onset of frost.  We do a heartworm check in May to make sure nothing was picked up during the winter season but I must say that the chances of that are slim to none. 

I have to admit that I'm shocked, utterly flabbergasted.  If they're prescribing Sentinel to you year-round, you could certainly question what their motive ultimately is."

----

I have wondered, previously, why it was so important for them to book a check-up before prescribing another round of Sentinel when it's a harmless pill prescribed by weight-class.  I guess now I know.

Took Tessa to a new veterinarian today, who spent about ten minutes railing against the money-grubbing practices of those at Willowdale Animal Hospital and then prescribed some standard Tylocine and a high-fibre diet for Tessa to see if it solves her stomach issues.  In the meantime, he also suggested we starve her for a day and "start fresh" tomorrow, so to speak.  Tessa's been taking it really well, especially for a dog who likes eating more than anything.

While we're on the subject, Tessa's now up to 74.1 pounds so we really should monitor her diet more closely than we have...

Much as I love Tim Schafer, I can't tell if this "interview" reveals more about him or about the interviewer himself. In any case, it's a fun read.

(Tim Schafer "Interview")

Gave the dog a bath after dinner tonight since a hot shower always makes me feel better when I'm ill.  15 minutes lathering and rinsing, half an hour of blow-drying as she chewed on a brand new piece of marrow (which she's now taken to have in private in her den).  She seemed especially tired after dinner and her schedule is still somewhat irregular, but the bath sure riled her up something fierce.

It also occurs to me that she's down to her last Sentinel pill and it's about time to make a veterinarian appointment for a check-up and a refill.

Whined to go out tonight at 20:30.  Had a mild case of the runs, then tossed up what was left of her dinner.  Will keep an eye on her to see if she gets sicker in the coming days but she's definitely not lethargic so maybe it's just a troublesome tummy.

Morning Update: She went out three more times during the night. We'll monitor how she is today.  Dad's theory is that she had a piece of mango two nights ago and it isn't agreeing with her.

My Tessa MiniCards from MOO.com are here, hooray!  Pictures forthcoming, but a good number of the cards seem to have a faint white line through them due to a printing defect.  Considering the price and general quality of the card (stock is very nice, print is a bit lacking, price is fine for a novelty item), I won't bother making a fuss.  Fun to have, and I'll probably use them as gift cards for the foreseeable future but I don't really see myself recommending their service to anyone right now.

I would assume that their other (read: larger) offerings are printed at a higher quality though - they threw in a sample sticker book with the purchase and the gloss does make the colours pop.  I think lineart and simple pictures do lend themselves better to printing though - the cards that came out nicer are of the pictures that feel (to me) over-saturated on-screen.

Roll Up the Rim status bar is up on the primary sidebar.  RUtR updates will cease other than winning notifications...

...on that note, won me a coffee! Wooh!

Threw up again during the night, ~5:40'ish.  Nothing much came up, second puddle was just spittle.  Didn't feed her any particular junk last night, didn't even brush her hair, so not sure what caused it.  She did want to go out particularly urgently this morning, but that's likely the time change.

Going back and adding (good/bad) movies I watched, just to be complete.  I'll comment on them later if I feel like it.  For now, let's just say that if you're running from a ghost that has resulted in three of your closest friends leaping from high places, how about not running to the rooftop?

On second thought, I'm pretty sure I won't make any more comments about this movie.  (Most) horror movies are almost impossible to discuss since their only purpose is to provide some sort of visceral reaction towards the shocking images on screen.  In that sense, Shutter had its moments but it's really nothing to talk about.  My mind (nervously) processes the images quick enough that even while I'm spooked, I'm laughing at how ridiculous the image is on screen because, oh golly, how crazy and creepy is it that an undead ghoul is stealing my blankets from the foot of the bed!?

Still, it was fun.  Horror films are good once in a while, and foreign ones are definitely better than the hack and slash films we're used to.

Having always been a Nintendo fanboy (being an 80's video game fan pretty much requires you to love Nintendo, after all), I've always been worried that a time will come where they will be rendered entirely irrelevant by its competitors.  Its third-party support is non-existent by this point, its console games have long since reinvented the console into a mini-game/party-game system save for Zelda, which feels increasingly dated and rehashed with each successive version, and Mario, which somehow manages to reinvent its entire genre with each release (though, to be entirely honest, platforming is basically a dead genre altogether).  Yet, Nintendo stays ever successful reinventing its hardware much like its Mario franchise, by releasing the same old technology with different ways to play it.  Touch the DS!  Waggle your Wii!  Buy our product and we'll re-release the same old games you've always enjoyed!

Fortunately/unfortunately, Brawl proves to be the same old SSB game with barely a new coat of paint over its decade-old fighting system.  It now provides more characters, bonuses and useless single-player content than ever before but at heart, it's the same fighter that feels sluggish compared to the many other games that have spent shorter generations reinventing its combat system (take, for example, Team Ninja, which does nothing but perfect the 3d-fighter and lock-on system and builds multiple games around it).  Brawl does none of this, and just gives you what it's always promised.

With 35 playable characters across the Ninty universe (and more), a fanboy can't help but love this game.  I just wish I enjoyed it a little bit more.

(Friend Code: 0387-8489-2872)

0/2 so far, rolling up that rim.  I really ought to set up a rolling counter on the sidebar there.

(for the record, the first loss was on Friday, March 7th)

The Raveonettes - Lust, Lust, Lust is a fine, fine album to listen to when running on the treadmill, especially where the first half of the album is concerned.  I'm not entirely sure what puts me in the mood for nondescript warbling over fuzzed-out guitars but everything from Hallucinations through Blush is gorgeous when feedback and distortion are all you want to sink into (and it certainly beats out the signal-to-nonsense ratio on the latest Magnetic Fields album).

That being said, I came back to my desk and popped in MBV instead.

I love dafont.com, and the font in the banner totally makes me feel like a rock star.

It snowed this weekend.

A few quick thoughts on throwing up an MT site, I suppose, even though all I did was modify their Unity template.

• The design interface is rather elegant once you see what it's trying to do, what with the dynamic links to installed widgets and all, but it does take some getting used to
• Making changes at broadband speed is brutally slow, especially when you've got to close tags in the footer which you opened in the header.  I can't think of any way to get around this, but the option of opening multiple sections or have the ability to collapse them within the same page would be terrific.  Overwhelming, but terrific.
• I still haven't figured out how to copy a style template, which would've been quite nice.  Still, other than figuring out what the mt-specific tags are, there isn't that much magic going on behind the scenes.  I think the people whining that they can't figure out which section is what are complaining a bit much.
• I wonder how difficult it is writing a widget?
• Some printable documentation would be nice.  If there's a problem with wiki-style documentation, it's that trying to learn from a "Getting Started" guide takes you across twenty different pages and you've lost sight of the beginning once you get to the end.
• Once everything's in place though, even the bare minimum, everything just works - archives, comments, permalinks, everything.  Beautiful.  Certainly beats the headache of wrestling with Textpattern any day (although their simpler interface makes image/file-handling rather easy).

Regarding the actual design though, I'm still running around the same circles with this and koopa.  Give it a few more years, maybe then you'll see something new.